Posts filed under ‘WTF’
India’s Elections – Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Politics is strange, and eveyone knows that. Backstabbing, disgracing opponents and inflating self-achievement is common. Therefore, it is the drama of elections that brings out the creative genius of politicians worldwide. As seen in the recent US elections, media around the world simply loved how McCain and Palin dug their grave and Obama came out fluttering like the long-awaited minority hero. But what could you expect after 8 years of the legendary George W. ??
Now, looking eastward we see the drama of the Indian elections unfold. Described as the ‘age of coalitions‘ where no single party dominates the electoral college, multiple parties connive. If abbreviations like U.P.A. and N.D.A. were not enough, this year marks the glorious entry of the ‘Third Front‘ and I hear something about a ‘Fourth Front‘ as well. Something makes me feel that this could turn out to be a good script for a Bollywood thriller – who knows?
Some sanity to the Indian political battlefield was provided by the entry of United Nations veteran Shashi Tharoor. Campaigning from Kerala, Mr. Tharoor’s opponents could simply not control those creative instincts and spat out a gallore of illogical and baseless remarks.
Now comes the best part of this drama. The party in power, or actually the one that has control of the current alliance, the Congress party, decided that its achievements of the past few years may not be enough to win the upcoming elections. So how do they woo the masses? Show them ‘The Economist’ ! What else did you think? Gift giving is not cool, ok? So, what you do, is pick up a publication printed outside India which has an article that talks about all the follies of your political system, but if even a remote line claims you did your job well, voila, there you go – the magic persuassion formula!
Dumbass Congress – the article says, “For this reason, The Economist, if it had a vote, would plump for Mr Singh’s Congress.” Above it, in bold, it says “Better than the alternative” which as a sixth grader would explain, means that you aren’t the best! You’re just the better of the two evils!
Ok, I still support the Congress. Despite their latest persuasive strategy, their achiements cannot be ignored. Ideally Narendra Modi would be my choice PM, but he brings the baggage of the BJP. Which of course is the most disillusioned fanatical yet legal outfit.
Let see if there are any more twists and turns in this drama before we reach the climax.
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Other events coded whiskey-tango-foxtrot:
a) Sarah Palin ‘knows’ Russia because she’s from Alaska, and as everyone knows, Alaska is ‘close to Russia’. Take that for foreign policy experience! [link]
b) Mc Cain’s paranoid agenda which included an ambitious call for a ‘League of Democracies.’ Bet hey, we’ll exclude Russia and China from the league, ok? [link 2]
c) The fear that Mayawati may be next Indian Prime Miniter. Then, extortion will be legalized!
d) The ultra-rich independent candidate from Mumbai. (Worth Rs. 622 crore or Rs 6.22 billion)
e) A fascination to see how Obama has fared in ‘the first 100 days.’
f) Arlen Specter jumps from the Republican party to the Democratic party. So what if he was committed to the Republican ideology for the last 30 years? The rationale is, that Democrats have a higher chance of winning state elections. Howzzat?
g) Shoegate. Encore. Yet again.
h) Varun Gandhi
Enough for now.
100-Word Election Speeches
In a humourous attempt, Ramesh Srivats writes 100-word election speeches for some of the prominent faces in Indian politics. From Advani’s Ram Rajya, Sonia’s Rome Rajya and Mayawati’s Scam Rajya, to Vijay Mallya proposing a Rum Rajya, read the 3 posts (links below) as politicians in India gear up for the upcoming elections. Laloo, Karunanidhi, Prakash Karat also find ‘serious’ issues to propagate their agenda, but the best by Srivats is reserved for those stealing the limelight – Sanjay ‘deep conviction’ Dutt, Raj ‘annihilate Pak’ Thakray, Mamta ‘farmer/ no industrialization/ strike’ Banerjee and Barkha ‘TRP’ Dutt.
Al-Qaeda Hails Financial Crisis
Al-Qaeda is watching the U.S. stock market’s downward slide with something akin to jubilation, with its leaders hailing the financial crisis as a vindication of its strategy for crippling America’s economy through endless, costly foreign wars against Islamic insurgents.
How interesting…. read here.
Some cartoons..
The Best of Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin, the US Republican Vice Presidential candidate, has to be the biggest political mistake on the face of this planet. Unimgainably ignorant and verbally-challenged, her every public appearance just seems to pull down Senator John McCain’s chances of being elected to Presidency.
Palin experience: Mayor of a remote Alaskan town for 6 years, Governor of Alaska for 2 years, and 1 year chairing the Alaskan Oil & Gas Conservation Commission. Thats it!! On the basis of simply her experience, I can’t imagine what John McCain’s team was thinking when they selected her. Taking into account that the 72 year old McCain may not survive his first term in office, it’s utterly absurd to think that she could someday be President of the US.
Things get worse, when she rambles on incoherently in interviews, combining the words healthcare, foreign policy, aid, job creation and $700 bailout plan in the same sentence! I’ve never heard her answer a single question with a related answer because she always seems to revert to using the few ideas that she may have been taught just minutes before the interview.
The web is filled with criticisms and parodies of her incompetency – watch the videos below to find out! (The best: Matt Damon’s question!)
Palin on Foreign Policy
Jack Cafferty Tells Us How He Really Feels About Sarah Palin
CNN Laughs It Up Over Sarah Palin Interview
Matt Damon Rips Sarah Palin
So, Sarah Palin – were there dinosaurs?
How Can She SLAP??
This is probably the most hilarious video I’ve seen recently! Its quite a viral piece and has spread through the web space at an incredible speed.
Turn up the volume and enjoy!! 😀
Bow Down to Gunda!!
If you haven’t discovered the brilliance of Mithun Chakraborty, go watch Gunda!
I guarantee that these 2 hours will change you – for the better or the worse! Hah! The movie has a non-existent storyline, an absurd parody of dialogues, an insane cast and a director and writer who can twist the story to unimginable extremes.
Mithun plays a coolie at the start and ends as the avenging hero who destroys the underworld and corrupt cops, usually with just one blow of his mighty hands. From lifting cargo, he amazingly transforms into a rocket launcher yielding hero who knows how to drive and uses a cell phone to update his enemies. He sets dates to kill his enemies too..
Dialogues: There’s nothing to beat them in Hindi cinema.. Where else do you find lines like:
- [in response to “kaun hai be tu?”]: “Main hoon jurm se nafrat karne wala, Sharifon ke liye jyoti, Gundon ke liye jwala”
- Arrey itihas badalne wale ka naam kabhi itnihas mein nahi hota hai,
Kyun ki itihas pathhar ki lakir hoti hai, aur usko mitaney wala khud aise mit jaata hai,
Jaise woh kabhi paida hi nahi hua ho.Jis tarah train ke aaney par platform kaapney lagta hai na,
Usi tarah merey khaunf ka bhukhar, tum sab ko kaapney par majboor kar dega.
Ye mera wada hai! Aur us dhuein ki kasam hai, jo meri behen ki chitah se nikalney wala hai!! - Dekh randi, dhandey mein bethi hai, toh buddha kya jawan kya – Kya chhota kya bada – Kya baittha kya khadah!?!
- Tere bhi marney ka date aa raha hai! Aaj ek October hai.. Do, Char, Chhey, Aat, Das – BAS!
Sorry for the 3rd one, but I just had to include it!!
Characters: Each one gives his introduction at the start of each and every scene! If you are lucky, he may also give you a recap of his misendeavours of preceding scenes! Characters include the protagonist Shankar (Mithun) and his enemies Bulla, Chutiya, Potey, Eegoo Hatella, Kala Shetty, Lambu Aata, Lucky Chikna and many more…
Songs: There’s a song for every scene with a female in the frame.. And its always Mithun and his love interest. Even when Mithun’s sister is romancing some guy, the subsequent song features Mithun. And yes, ehe wears a yellow shirt in all songs – without fail!
Action sequences: We see a Maruti Esteem, auto rickshaws, trucks, helicopters, a 2-seater plane, ships and a monkey who can guide you to dead bodies in the middle of a forest and catch babies flung by our hero over 30 feet! The action sequences take place just anywhere – Mithun’s locality, Villain’s house, shipyard, 
cemetery, random deserts and canyons that just pop out of nowhere, fields, a flying whore-house, a beach and an air strip (airport).
I mean.. C’mon.. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT!!!??!! Just go watch it!!
Impossible is Nothing
Now, the tag line used by Adidas has another meaning. Watch the video below.
We are like that only!!
See Bloody F#$@! I’m never going to Sydney!
A teenager was stabbed… Well not once, not twice, not even 10 times.. but a 133 times !!! (I still can’t comprehend this)
And just for fun, the psychotic killer decided to go bowling after the kill. But guess what? Since he didn’t have a bowling ball, he made do with the corpse’s sawed head!! (WTF!!!)
Read here.
Eerie eh?
Cruelty.. even here
For those who think that ‘advanced’ economies are home to the intelligentsia, read this and think again.
If life wasn’t tough enough..
Then along come a few aircrafts to blast your peace away. Read here.
Thats what happened in Mumbai. Roofs of a restaurant and butcher’s shop in a slum beside the city’s airport were blown off by jet blasts from an aircraft preparing for take off !!
I wonder what ‘explanation’ the authorities will give this time..
Sleepy Pilots!
An Indian carrier managed the unthinkable – their pilots just.. fell asleep in the cockpit !! Read here.
Apparently, this was a flight flying from Dubai to Jaipur and then on to Mumbai. However, the strain led to the pilots taking a short nap after taking off from Jaipur. Eventually, they were well past Mumbai and nearly at Goa when emergency protocols helped wake them. Haah !!
The carrier is obviously trying to hush up the matter and not be a laughing stock in the Indian airline industry which has seen a phenomenal boom over the last few years…
Roger Federer should learn from Bejan Daruwalla
Another brilliant entry for the WTF category!
According to Mr Bejan Daruwalla:
“He should come more often to the net, because he has the reach, the agility, and the dexterity to volley for an outright winner, or to make a strong opening for it, and with the next volley, finish it. The Sun and versatile Mercury in Leo, is the key to it.”
WTF ???
Frisking Skies 